My Antidote
by Veroxion
Summary: /SasuSaku\ She wasn't like the other nurses who would smile sick sweet smiles at me, but I knew what she was. She was my antidote. /Darkfic. Extreme Hiatus\
1. The Life

**I know I shouldn't be posting another story... seeing as I have others to update but whatever, I had a morbid moment and this popped up, meaning I had to write it :)**

**Also because everyone loves an insane Sasuke- right?**

**So, enjoy!**

**Warning: _Dark_fic.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Plot belongs to Veroxion. Steal it and I'll castrate you; I worked hard on this- Sasuke's brain is hard to write about, even in unstable mode.**

* * *

So, here I am; lying on the filthy bed that has been mine for the past several years. I never knew something where someone is supposed to relax and sleep could be so.. uncomfortable and disgusting. The supposedly white as snow sheets were battered with dark stains of dirt and blood- not mine, I can assure you. I've given up trying to take my life. It seemed to make sense, years ago but soon one of the nurses caught me and they took out everyone potentially harmful out of my room.

I knew they wouldn't trust me again, they had even taken out the lamp and it had been replaced with a candle; of course with a cover over it so I wouldn't be able to burn myself, although I doubt a small flame such as that would do any damage at all. It would probably give me a tan; a much needed one, as people kept telling me.

I'm still amazed that I have some sarcasm left in me. I've been here for four years; I think, I lost track of time. I've been locked up like a caged animal, I'm pretty sure that's what people see me as; me in here here, them from outside my rusted cell, I see them as visitors and I'm the main attraction. A freak show for all to see.

I'm currently hooked up to an IV. Fluid's draining into me, with the usual amount of drugs I'm hung up on every single day. The nurses tell me they're to keep me stable and alive. I say they're to keep me insane and living in hell.

What else would I call this place?

A luxury beyond any other? I don't think so. The _food_ isn't even edible.. okay so it is, but it taste's like plastic, I just don't do plastic. I just don't do anything really. Except lay here and wait for more drugs to be poured into my body which I'm sure has given up by now. How much longer will they keep me here? I ask myself that every day. I haven't seen anyone except the nurses that flow in and out of my room. My family has given up on me. Hell; they were the reason why I was here in the first place. They condemned me insane and unstable and I was dragged out of my old room in the middle of the night and thrown into the asylum of thy insane. Sorry, correction: The asylum were everyone will eventually lose all insanity because they definitely _do not_ make you feel better. They make you feel worse. They make you _want_ to die. But I knew that I was already dead. A dead person in a body that still had the will to live. How lovely.

I looked up from the fatal position I had maneuvered myself into, glancing at the iron bars of my caged insanity, or rather what was left of it. The bars were to keep me inside, then after the bars there was a firm thick wall of plaster, or maybe concrete, I didn't know, nor did I care. I glanced at the door; bulky rusted metal that was bolted on the outside, I knew it would open soon. I may not know the time, but I knew when the IV fluids were gone, a nurse would come in and fill it back up again. I knew why, I didn't drink any fluids when I ate. The water didn't look sanitary, much like the food, but they would force feed me if I didn't eat and I didn't exactly want to be treated like some pathetic child. I knew it wasn't just fluids, but full of antibiotics and sure to-be illegal drugs.

And just like I predicted, I heard the clacking of heels on the hard, stone cold floor as a gentle knocked resounded through the door. I didn't say anything, what was there to say? I remained silent, hoping whoever had been assigned to give me today's 'medicine' would just go away. I wasn't in the mood to comply with the sweet nurses words of command.

The bolt unlocked; the loud clunk was music to my ears. Just imagine it; I could easily pin the nurse to the ground -they were weak little things- and then knock her out, then freedom could be mine. It could be _that_ easy, of course.. I didn't know the inner workings of the asylum. They knocked my out and drugged me out when I first came here, I hardly remember it. No doubt there would be guards to drag me back into my cell, or even worse.

They could torture me. I heard they did that here, sometimes if no one behaved right. I didn't exactly want to confirm it either, all I heard was the screeches and screams of those who were once locked up like me, I heard them being dragged past my room. I watched through that small bar that was on the door as frantic eye's darted everywhere, trying to find an escape. Of course there wasn't one. I would have taken it the first time I saw one.

The door creaked open and the was bolted shut again, I quickly turned my head so that I wasn't looking towards the door. I wouldn't admit that I was actually _craving_ to be given my medicine for the night- or the morning if that were the case. Drugs can do that to you, you know? I never knew that before, when I used to have a headache, my mother would warm me not to take too much of the pain killers we had, she said I might get addicted to them. But now, since I was on the same type of drug -and many others- almost every single day, they had gotten addicting and I knew I couldn't live without them. They kept me half-sane, I suppose.

I could feel a cold warm touch my already cold-enough cheek, as if caressing slightly.

"Sasuke-kun, are you awake?"

Oh... it was her. She's alright I suppose, she's nice to me; really. Despite the fact she fawns over me _way_ too much. In any case; she's annoying. I know she's staring at the tray on the makeshift bedside table by the bed, pouting slightly in a disproving way.

"You didn't eat your food, Sasuke-kun. Something wrong with it?"

It's probably been dropped in the foulest of places, you stupid woman!

Yeah. That's what I wanted to say. I didn't of course; I don't speak to any of the nurses. Or rather, I _try_ not to. I ignore them best I can, even if they have the one thing that makes me feel at the most, a little happy.

"I'm not hungry." well those words weren't true, but there was _no way_ I was eating that shit.

She sighed. I think I forgot her name because I need to ask her something; she's picking up the tray now and I think she plans to leave straight after.

Without giving me what I crave.

"...is your name Ino?"

That _better_ be right.

She seems to smile; it's a weird smile, crooked and sickly sweet. I hate those smiles; it's like telling me that they know something I don't, which I hate to admit is true and that just irks me.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun! You remembered!"

I don't reply to her.

"I'll be right back. Morphine should be here soon! Ja!"

And she's gone. Bolting the door shut behind her as she practically runs down the hall to fetch Morphine- which by the way I don't want nor need. I needed something better than that shit, although it did stop the hunger pains, which was good.

I hear soft tapping now and I thought it would be Ino again- with my Morphine.

The door is swung open and it slams against the wall. I flinch.

It is definitely _not _Ino.

I turn around to look at the newcomer; Ino wouldn't slam a door. That much I knew.

I stared down at creamy legs.

I raised an eyebrow and looked up into hard, emerald eyes. I gulped. _Definitely _not Ino. Her eye's were this weird blue color, too light in my opinion and she had this shiny blonde mop of hair. But this nurse; she had hard jade eyes that seemed to boar into my soul and body and she pale _pink_ hair that lapped just above her firm shoulders. She looked... cold, all the nurses that looked after me were sweet and kind and although I appreciated it, it got extremely annoying at times and I couldn't understand why they would act like that. This girl though... she was different and I knew as she stared at me that I wouldn't be receiving any form of kindness from her.

She... made me feel.. almost _scared._

"..sit up." her voice was cold; hell, everything about her seemed cold. I wouldn't surprised if her breath was like ice and then I let out a small cry as the needle that was stuck in my arm was wrenched out, replaced with a cotton bud as it soaked the blood up. I panted. That fucking hurt!

How dare she! Weren't nurses supposed to be kind! For God's sake, that was anything but!

I watched as she rummaged around in her nurse dress and pulled out a syringe, pressing it slightly so liquid spurted out and splattered to the stone floor but that wasn't what scared me. That needle was huge. No seriously. Long and huge. This was going to be painful; and then without warning it was in my arm; her pressing it down so all the liquid entered my veins and I calmed down considerately, although the pain was still there.

"You are off fluids for the rest of the week. They're making you drowsy." and she spared me one last glance she she excited the room, slamming the bulky door shut. I heard it bolt as her footsteps echoed away. I looked at my arm; the syringe still intact, she didn't take it out and now I wasn't even allowed any fluids? Oh well that just made my day. That nurse as creepy; she must be new, she didn't have any identification on, like all the other nurses.

I wondered what her name was. She was.. unusual. Despite her hair, I had never met anyone like that before. All the other nurses were so... kind and they fawned over me but her.. she didn't even ask how I was and she violated me by sticking a freakin' syringe into me so violently! No one had ever done that before.

I needed to know her name. She interested me, she wasn't like the rest with their sickly smiles and their sweet words or their touches of tenderness. She was surreal.

And I wanted to see her again. Tomorrow, no.

Today. I wanted to know her name today and right _now_ because if she was cold and frozen; maybe she could relate to me?

Stupid thoughts, I know. I only just met her; and that was for about fifty seconds at the most but.. I was curious to know why she treated me that way. I just had to know. I was going to talk to her, next time. I made sure of it. I wanted to know everything about her; her deepest secrets and fears. This was new to me. I felt like I could talk to her without havng any problems whatsoever.

I wanted to know... because I knew she could help me.

* * *

**Wow. That was gloomy and made no sense whatsoever. And yes, I know Sasuke's sudden obsession doesn't make any sense but come on: he's in an _asylum_ of course he's going to be insane. Duh.**

**Asylum's are fun :)**

**Review and tell me what you think :)**


	2. Decisions

**No comment. Enjoy :)**

**Warning: _Dark_ fic.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Plot belongs to Veroxion. Steal it and I'll castrate you; I worked hard on this- Sasuke's brain is hard to write about, even in unstable mode.**

* * *

She hadn't come back and I was starting to panic; was she mad at me for something? I hadn't even done anything! Maybe I was too quiet; did one of the nurses tell her something?

I've counted the hours since she was last here. Five. Five hours and I'm already going insane, the drugs aren't working and now I can't have any fluids for a week, this is just great. I'll be sent to death before I know it. Why hadn't she come back? Maybe she was dealing with the other people who resided within these walls. I envy them. They get to bathe in her cold demeanor while I lay here waiting for a miracle to happen. I'm waiting for her to come back and stab me with needles. That would _so_ make my day. She makes the pain feel good.

I've never felt like this before; no one has had this much control over me and I think I'm starting to lose it. Fuck what my family thought about me losing it years ago. I'm fucking losing it now, and only one girl is making me feel like this, she's driving me insane and she doesn't even know it.

And I still don't know her name. How can she make me feel like this? Make me feel so.. helpless. I'm lying in a bed and instead of waiting for a nurse to hook me up to fluids and drugs. I'm waiting for a nurse to come and see me so I can ask her her name. I haven't had to ask _anyone_ their name. They either tell me or they wear a name tag. She wasn't wearing a name tag; but she had on the standard nurse outfit so I had to assume she worked here. Well she was able to open the door, so she definitely worked here.

So why wasn't she coming back? SHE WASN'T COMING BACK! I needed her to come back; to ask her her name and I needed to know so much more about her and I couldn't. Why?

Because she wasn't here, dammit! I needed her to be here, if I hadn't said that enough, you must be getting tired from he hearing that, but I'm getting extremely panicky. What is she _never_ came again?

I couldn't even think of what would happen, surely I would go mad (if I wasn't mad enough) I'd try another suicide attempt. Yeah! I'll do that, if she didn't come back in the next two days then I'll do it, I almost succeeded last time, so I know exactly what to do and then I'll-

"Sasuke-san?"

I stopped my (evil) plots and looked up from my crouched position on the floor, meeting chocolate brown eye's. Her eyes weren't chocolate brown! They were emerald! This wasn't her, so I ignored the nurse as she helped me up onto the moldy old bed and made me lay down; she put the IV needle back into my arm as she placed a bag of blood on the stand. Oh great; they seem to believe I'm self-harming again, wasn't that nice?

"Your test results came back yesterday, your blood levels are... below average." and then she quickly gave me an injection and left while I watched the drips of blood as they went down the clear tube and into the waiting blue veins in my arm.

I sighed. Day in and day out this seemed to happen, nothing ever changed.. it was the same nurses that came in; until she showed up that is and the routine would be the same and even though I myself knew I wasn't stable enough to go back to humanity, I only wanted to get the hell out of here and do something other than watch the drips.

_Click_

The door was being unlocked. I sat up in bed as I watched the door creek open and then I saw a small head poke in as emerald eyes locked onto mine and then the door was closed as she leaned against it gently, sighing in.. relief?

She looked at me as she started to walk over and all I could do was stare.

It was her, the girl from yesterday... the one I had been obsessing about ever since she jammed a needle into my arm. It was actually her, she had come back..

She bowed deeply and I raised an eyebrow as my mouth hung open but before I could say anything, she _spoke._

"Sorry about yesterday. I was.. angry."

...

I watched as she moved towards my arm- the one she had so violently assaulted the other day as her fingers danced upon my skin, I shivered, it hurt; from the small wound she had left me, a small prick of red with blue and purple tinted around the small wound. She pulled something out of her nurse outfit as she squirted a small lump of white onto my arm and she gently smoothed it into the sick skin.

"It should clear up in a few days."

I nodded, feeling a bit drowsy, she seemed to notice as she started to move towards the door. I needed to say something.. she had to stay! She couldn't just come in, check a wound and leave!

"Wait...!" I harshly choked out, not only surprising her as she halted and looked at me but myself. I actually spoke... _willingly._

"Yes?"

"Name." I said simply.

She looked bewildered for a moment before she carried on walking towards the door, I panicked for a moment, was she just going to leave me without telling?! But before I could push my weak body up from the bed to stop her, she pulled open the door and looked at me. I stared into endless sparkling emerald.

"Sakura."

And the door was bolted shut.

_Sakura..._

I tossed and turned, a nurse had come in to give me some sleeping pills earlier but they weren't helping, not one little bit. I still had her on my mind, she was a disease that never went away; much like the one I actually have, she just wouldn't go away.

Shooting up in bed, I clutched my head as I tried to rid her out of my thoughts. I needed to get some sleep, whether I wanted to or not.

But she remained and I knew that she wouldn't leave until I did something about it, I needed to speak to her, tell her... tell her what she was doing to me, but I couldn't go beyond the four walls of my room, and I didn't know if she would come back or not, deciding I scampered up from the bed as I opened the old bedside unit; grabbing a old, torn piece of paper and then I got down on my knee's and searched under the bed for a writing utensil.

My hands wrapping around something hard as I drew the faded pen into my view as a sight to see and then I sat on my bed with the old parchment of paper and the probably faded of ink pen as I tried to think about what to say.

I was going to write Sakura a letter and I couldn't wait until she read it.

* * *

**Sasuke went a little insane at the beginning, frustrated much? Do you get what happened in the last chapter? Inner Sakura.. -shudder- **

**AND... if you want to see Sakura and Ino's (plus the other nurses) outfits then my profile has a link for those interested, which I'm sure won't be anyone xD! This chapter was short, sorry about that.. but I needed to get this updated before I go on hiatus **

**Review and make me smile :)**


	3. The Letter

**Enjoy!**

**Warning: _Dark_ fic.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Plot belongs to Veroxion. Steal it and I'll castrate you; I worked hard on this- Sasuke's brain is hard to write about, even in unstable mode.**

* * *

_Dear Sakura,_

_I am sure you already know my name. Uchiha Sasuke; patient QEC4239 in Room 79. Have you ever felt like there is never a way out of things? Like your life suddenly has no reason but yet you still strive to stay alive? That is how I am feeling at the moment and as a nurse working here, I know that isn't the right thing to tell you. No doubt you will tell the head doctor about my small confession, lengthening my time in this dull asylum. I do not blame you, it must be a code of conduct, right?_

_People would normally say that they are happy and they want to return to their wives or husbands and children. Sadly, I am not one of these people as I am not married nor do I have any children of my own. I do however have two oh so loving parents who dumped me in this place and a not so caring brother who didn't protest in any way, even when he said he would be there for me. I guess he thought I was some insane nut who should have been locked up forever._

_I should tell you that I don't even know the reason why I am here. Strange isn't it? I suspect many patients residing within this asylum go over their mistakes and what led them here every single day until they get out, then I suppose they do it again just so they can feel that fear once more and they can have drugs pumping through their veins that those ever so sweet nurses give them._

_I like the Morphine. Can you exceed my doses?_

_I'm on a blood IV hookup. They think I'm self harming again, preposterous if you ask me. Yes, I have attempted this a few times but I've been caught and besides, I've given up on my attempts for suicide as I said before, I strive to live. Many people fear death while others crave it, did you know that?_

_I suppose you do, being a nurse and all. I must ask... did you dye your hair? I like it. It looks pretty, like those flowers you see when in full bloom in the spring- ah, yes 'Cherry Blossom'. I just realized that was what your name means. Excuse that, I haven't been outside these walls for awhile._

_I wonder.. will you come back to see me, are you even reading this? _

_I hope you do. _

_I liked when you smiled the other day._

_Sasuke._

I looked over the letter I had written 'Sakura'. It looked decent enough for me, I suppose although I was still a bit jumpy as to how she would react to it, I didn't suspect any other paitients write letters to the nurses, I read over it again, just to make sure it was perfect before I placed it on the bed side unit and I flopped back down onto the bed, sighing. I had to take my chances, if Sakura read it then she read it, however I suppose it would be alright if someone else read it and then gave it to her, as long as she read my letter, I was content.

Content as I ever would be I suppose, I mean who could ever feel content living in a death house? Just a rumour going around, I suppose.. or rather it was screamed through the door the other day by some wacko being escorted although I can't help but feel a bit concerned for my own life, I'd been here so long and hadn't made any progress; what if they decide to get rid of me?

What if Sakura never got my letter?!

I don't think I could handle that, she needed to get my letter, I couldn't be put to death just yet; after Sakura reads the letter I wouldn't really mind, I mean.. at this point in time, what is there to live for? Nothing really... except maybe her, although I don't know her that well, although I feel some kind of connection with her, we'll have to see until she reads my letter, eh?

But what if she got my letter and told the head doctor that I had contacted her? Would she feel.. threatened that I had taken a sudden interest in her? Would she even care at all?

I sighed as I burried my head into the manky pillow. This was too much. I'd just have to wake up tomorrow and hope to fucking God that she had read my letter, or at least spared it a glance.

* * *

**YES. See I updated, didn't I? **

**It's too short, in my opinion. Sorry!**

For those interested: _Fevered Tension_ has been updated :D


	4. Author's Note : Important

**AUTHOR'S NOTE  
6/1/09**

Hey guys, I just wanted to update you on what I'm planning to do with 'My Antidote'. I am not discontinuing it, but I am re-writing the entire plot. I didn't think it through before, but now I have and so I am going to make some major changes so I will no longer get Writer's Block while writing the chapters :)

I won't be updating for awhile, because I'm trying to focus on another one of my stories at the moment. However, when the time comes that I DO update, I will replace all the existing chapters of this story with the new ones. The plot will be completely different, and it might not be as dark, so if you liked the old story, then you might not like the new one. Sorry :(

Thanks for all the reviews I've received. I really appreciate all the support I've gotten~

-Veroxion


End file.
